She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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