Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
