it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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