Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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