PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't think brook has ever known best
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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