What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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