dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize