PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
