I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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