Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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