Swine flu. Run for my life!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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