u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can I color on your dick again?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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