i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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