So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
