I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
