I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
