I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
