What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
