im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize