I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
