u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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