I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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