i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
