Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
