I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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