just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize