It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
