Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
