what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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