he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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