Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Randomize
