No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
