I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
