I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
