I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize