Fuck appropriateness.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
