I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
did i just pee glitter
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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