you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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