If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize