ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
