my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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