how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
