if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Text me some of your sweat
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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