i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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