I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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