Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
