I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
