i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
