i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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