I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
