Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
