we're blogging at a bar
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
