meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
