I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
