My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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