You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
