Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
