your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
