I need help removing her.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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