ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
