I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
