is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
