PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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