By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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