Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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