Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just threw up on my dentist
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
