There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
