I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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