oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
